Today…. Today it’s time for a different outlook in this journal. Maybe just because I’m in a different mood, I don’t know and I don’t care. But I’m not going to tell you what I weighed in at, and I’m not going to tell you everything I ate.
Today I’m going to tell you why. Why everything.
I clicked to the blog of a friend of mine who got me started off on my new shot at weight loss. We had talked about it together, but I had never checked her blog before. A lot of it was filled with pictures of skinny and toned women, the sort of negative reinforcement that makes you say “god I’m fat, I need to work out and eat celery”. And maybe that works for her, and maybe that works for some people, which is awesome, do whatever works! It turned me off.
I realized….I don’t want to lose weight because I feel bad about who I am. I don’t want to lose weight because I don’t like the way I look, because I think I’m fat. Sometimes that’s true, sometimes when I’m discouraged and feeling down I think with that kind of attitude.
But really…overall, what is the REAL REASON I am doing this??
Because I love myself. Because I love my body and my mind and my soul. Because I want to be healthy, and I want to lead a healthy life. Losing weight will help me achieve a healthier body, reduce risk of all those nasty medical problems, it will help my have a healthier mind, filled with less negative and more positive thinking.
That’s what I care about, that is what I’m working toward. I don’t want to feel bad and lose weight. I want to feel good about myself, love myself, and lose weight. I don’t want to punish myself when I want to eat sweets, or if I take a day off working out. This week, I’ll say, has not been the best week. I have not met previous standards, I have not done as well as I have in the past.
And that is okay. What matters is that I don’t feel guilty or bad or depressed, but that I let myself realize that what needs to be done NEEDS to get done, and that tomorrow I WILL wake up at 6 am and exercise. I’m making a commitment to myself that tomorrow it’s gonna happen. Will I enjoy it? No. Not until after, when I step on the scale and see the results and know that I’m getting somewhere, when I feel the adrenaline rush and smile and think of how proud James will be when he wakes up and I tell him.
A positive mindset is really the only thing you can depend on. There’s no way around it…. There is no other way to get results, to learn to love your body. If you’re always negative, even when you hit your healthy weight, it’ll never be good enough. You’ll keep feeling bad…. and I want to avoid that. I’ve felt bad about myself for enough years of my life. This year has been a new beginning and I want nothing more but for that to continue and grow.
Positivity it is.
Love, joy and hugs to all. Don’t forget to floss.