Sorry it’s been so long since i’ve posted…. It’s been a rough week to say the least..
By that I mean I haven’t worked out once, I stopped keeping track of my calories and I… I’m having trouble with my job, I’ve had a few fights with my boy. It’s been kind of really awful.
I want to work out again. I need to. My body needs it, I’m so much more exhausted when I don’t…It’s just with work, I have to leave the house at 7 three days a week. It’s so tough. I know I’ll get through it… It’s just so difficult to tell myself when I’m so exhausted that I’m going to wake up early and exercise, it’s so difficult to curb my portions when I’m so exhausted and hungry. I don’t know how to get myself back on track. I’m getting so sick of that stupid biggest loser game. I don’t stick to it.
I’m contemplating trying Moksha yoga. It’s yoga done in a hot room… again though, I have to face my exhaustion. I either would have to leave the house even earlier, or I would have to go do it after work…Neither of which I’m terribly interested in doing. I need SOMETHING. I just…. I need something. I don’t really know what I’m looking for…. I feel kind of lost and fat right now. I was in the bathtub, and I realized that not too long ago I was weighing myself, praying that I would see a 188.5… today I was 168.5, twenty entire pounds lighter than that. The problem is though, I got out that bathroom scale. I got it out of the closet, even though I had made a commitment to myself that I wouldn’t. Something is not working here.
I’m just feeling so sluggish. I’m dreading work tomorrow. Sigh. I need to get out my calorie book again. I need to start to pay attention. I need to make this happen. Now if only my SELF would start agreeing with my logic. I know I need to. I just don’t know how anymore.