My adventure to achieve a healthy weight!

Days till Birthday: 30

SO….

A little unimpressed with myself at the moment. I’m trying to remind myself that it’s okay to have an off day every now and then, that I don’t have to be perfect every single day. Trying to remember that I’m still losing weight overall.

I ate dinner around 6:30 pm today… and then I stepped on the scale fully dressed right after eating. The number…not so pretty. 190.0 pounds……

Ugh. It was right after a meal that was bigger than it should have been. It was wearing jeans and a sweater. But I feel like that’s no excuse. I feel like a fat pig. I shouldn’t have eaten so much…. I cooked dinner for the first time in a long while tonight. I was proud of myself, I was enjoying it. One problem was that we were kind of just sitting around the counter with the food platter in front of us, not taking a portion and going to sit elsewhere. When the food is in front of me I have trouble stopping. I’ll need to keep this in mind in the future…. Take a portion and don’t take any more afterward.

I was 180.5 lbs this morning, which I was feeling really good about. I hope I haven’t ruined it…. I mean, logically, there is no way I would actually gain 9 and a half pounds in a day. I know it’s because of my clothes and the food sitting fresh in my stomach. But I still feel…the guilt, you know?

ah well. Before bed I’ll weigh myself nekkid and see what I ACTUALLY weight. And hopefully the number will not be so…horrifying and hopefully I will feel better.

This morning I was thinking, I am well on my way to meeting my goal (being consistently below 180lbs by my birthday, hence the countdown) Now I’m second guessing that because of how yucky I feel from over eating… but it’s too late. I just have to deal with the fact that I did it and see what I weight later.

Breakfast: half a banana, glass of juice, toast with cinnamon and sugar. Snack: pack of 100 calorie cookies Lunch: Leftover pasta, Half an orange, some grapes. Snack: Chocolate cupcake we made at work, couldn’t resist after decorating so many of them. Snack: leftover noodles, two squares of dark chocolate (should have skipped on that, was too close to dinner) Dinner: Salad wraps, tofu, samosas, mini quiches, broccoli bites (too many of all of those MUST PORTION BETTER NEXT TIME)

I think I ate not TOO awfully today. Looking back at it, I’m like….the snacks were not healthy. Next time I’ll pack no cookies in my purse for work. I thought I would be okay, I didn’t know about making cupcakes, I should have had better self control. But It’s okay. I’ll forgive myself after I exercise hard tomorrow. It was also a rest day on the Biggest Loser game today… I did go for a couple walks though. Overall I think it’s okay. I’ll just have to let the anxiety go and remember that James thinks I’m beautiful and work on reminding myself of that.

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